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about

so you've walked through these pages
and i must tell you some of the things
you'll read here will disturb you...
but it sure will get you thinking
if you don't like what you reaad,
feel free to shut the f*ck up!

you think you know me

clearly, you're mistaken!
you don't know a thing about me
and before you ask, i won't bother to explain
there's more to me than meets the eye

so drop the f*cking labels...it bores the hell of me
leave me alone and we'll get along just fine

say what?

you have got to see these

as it was written

blast from the past

credits

faded
dn angel dreams
goo goo dolls
blogskins
blogger

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

happy (whoopee!)

i realised something really important today about being happy.

for the longest time i feel that some people are meant to happy, others are meant to wonder how they could be, while the rest are either too busy or too nonchalant (and sometimes too stupid) to care whether they are happy or not. there's also that small group of people, who despite best efforts, remain unhappy for no other reason than they choose to be.

i belong to the last group. but i am desperately trying to break free. i'm starting to realize that being happy is as easy as choosing to be happy. and from this day forward, i choose to be happy.

i have been miserable long enough because of my own doing.

i deserve the break.

=)

cryola popcorn smirks @ 8:25 PM
0 = number of people who gives a shit

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Friday, April 14, 2006

it is finished!

yep! it is finished. my good friday good deed is finished. i just got back from visiting 9 churches as a promise to a certain Someone. got lost a few turns (more than a few turns actually), and yeah, it rained on us...hard! but for some odd reason, it did not dampen our spirits. i am sore all over. my feet aches as much if not more than my head does. and did i tell you i abstained from eating from sunrise to sundown? it didn't help that my friends decided to pig-out on ala-home-cooked meals from a local restaurant. i had my trustee volvic though. so no biggie. after our last church, which oddly enough is closed on this day, our team has decided to eat yet again at a pasta house which has no help at all on my growing hunger. i had a large caramel frapuccino from starbucks though. anyways, i'm back and better than ever. tomorrow is a new day.

by the way, i tried to drop the mockery and sarcasm even just for today...it seems you really can't teach old dogs new tricks

=)

peace

(A/N: 2 posts in a day...i didn't hink i'd live to see the day)

cryola popcorn smirks @ 9:25 PM
0 = number of people who gives a shit

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semana

today's good friday...the very foundation of my whole catholic faith. i haven't been a good catholic and i wouldn't argue if anyone of you tells me that my faith is flawed because frankly i think so myself. but i have news flash for you pal...so is yours. anyways, i know this must be the first post of its kind y'all probably read from this site...just proof postive that i am not the heartless bastard you think i am.

this year, i, together with a few friends, am doing visita iglesia here in singapore. 9 churches today to visit and abstinence from sunrise to sundown. i wish i am man enough for this. since i planned the whole thing, i made our itinerary for today as such:

1. Church of St. Mary of the Angels
2. St Francis of Assisi Church
3. Church of the Holy Cross
4. Churh of St. Ignatius
5. Church of the Blessed Sacrament
6-9. Sacred Heart/ Good Shepherd/ Saints Peter and Paul/ St Joseph/ Our Lady of Lourdes/ St Bernadette

by the way, while writing this post at 7 in the morning, i am listening to proud by heather small ; it goes something like this: "what have you done today to make you feel proud?" i think it must be this for today. wish me luck.

cryola popcorn smirks @ 6:54 AM
0 = number of people who gives a shit

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Tuesday, April 11, 2006

random ramblings

i know, i know i have been long gone...i have a life (or not), sue me!

anyways, i'd more than make it up in this post as i recount my life since whenever the f*ck my last post was. i sure hope my avid readers (all 2 of 'em) are still alive, else i would have wasted precious time in my office making this post in a notepad so no one would notice; not that anyone would care. brace yourselves, kiddoes! i would be taking you to a sneak peek of my oh-so-exciting life:

1. left for singapore early october for a project in our office here (boy do i smell trouble)

2. our condo is...well, nice. spacious living area, okay kitchen, nice rooms; includes a gym, pool, tennis, squash, and basketball courts, table tennis and mini putt-putt (the kind you see in those cheap theme parks, hehe)

3. my bedroom is livable. it's no hilton, i tell you but with a nice poolside view, i could ogle people in their thrashy skimpies. well, i don't really do that but its nice to have it when you want it.

4. worked my ass off to finish a project before i got sent off to an on-site office

5. harry potter 4 was hot as expected. made narnia eat box-office dust. i'm such a sucker for HP books. maybe because i was reading arthur conan doyle as a child instead of just "plain ol' children's book." (the fact that hp4 made this list must make you think my life is pathetic, isn't it? i know, i think so myself. so sad, huh?)

6. celebrated christmas away from my family for the first time. not that it means much because we haven't celebrated christmas as a family in a long time. but again, it's nice to be around the people who loves you (and you love back) in occassions like this. i never particularly liked christmas, never liked it as a child, hated it with a passion as an adult. i think its the capitalists' idea of heaven. i like giving gifts though. i think i like giving gifts more than receiving them. i don't know. i am weird like that.

7. celebrated new year at a club, velvet, as i told you here. well, can't remember much from that night. we (i was with a friend) were pissed drunk after drinking a pitcher each of what appears to be long island iced tea but very oddly taste like rhum and coke. washed it off with vodka. i love dancing. danced the whole night, in fact. my friend thought i was on something. i wasn't. i had a blast. that was after all the most fun i had since coming to this very exciting (do i smell sarcasm?) country. Oh and by the way, we ended up picking people off the gutters near the main highway. apparently these kids (believe me, i thought some of them were a bunch of high school kids) couldn't handle their alcohol well. and being the caring, generous, and helpful; not to mention smart, charming-as-hell, and very, very, very good in bed (so i exaggerated a little, go write your own bloggie, if you have a problem with it) little ol' me, i helped 'em up and hailed cabs for those who were royally drunk. and to top off what seems to be a very interesting night, my friend and i broke a fight. well, it's not really a fight. what would you call if someone just stands there and let some guy punch him in the face? one way fight? a standing fight? i don't know. well, that's what happened. to draw this little adventure to a close, my friend practically dragged me to the nearest mc donald's because he felt like eating happy meal...what the f*ck? if you ask me, it was him who was on something. came back to my place at around 9 (alone, in case you're wondering or just plain malicious), showered and went to sleep. woke up a few hours later majorly hung (and i am not talking about the size of that appendage down there; although i must say i'm pretty contented with what i have, hehehe)

8. new year, new life...well not really. i was sent off to work with the client-side on one of our site offices. i could see cdu2 from where my desk is. for those of you who doesn't get this, lucky you! this new job is such a drag. i'd stop at that but believe me that's not all there is to it.

9. went back at the gym as a resolution for the new year. 3 months after...still at it (while writing this, i realized that tha's the longest i've committed to anything or anyone, for that matter; i usually get bored after a few days, sometimes i get bored at the middle of it). i started running 4 miles everyday, except when i have something planned for the night. i developed a liking with running. i feel so much better afterwards. i'm also pumping some irons. build some muscle and stuff. well, that's not going too well. tell you more next time.
boy! i am starting to get bored with this post...aren't you? well, we're just halfway there kiddoes! hang in there. read on!

10. read this book "the curious incident of the dog at night time." one of the best reads i ever had. i don't think there's anything special with it. sure it won some award or something but it's no literary masterpiece. but i thought it's something everyone must read. grab yourself a copy and read for yourself. while on the subject of books, i finally found a copy of "return of merlin" by chopra. i was reading this 5 years ago, lost it in starbucks, didn't finish it coz i couldn't find a copy. forgot about it all through these years until i found an old battered copy in the library. the libraries here in singapore are a real treat. for 20 sgd a year you get to borrow as many books as you like. best 20 dollars i ever spent.

11. chinese new year...you'd think that since you're on chinese teritory, it would be fun, fun, fun! the hell it is! for 3 days, all the shops were closed, even mc-f*cking-donalds' was close! what was i to do for food, huh? geez this coutnry is odd!

12. since there was nothing to do during chinese new year, i humored myself and went to johor bahru in malaysia. it's and experience i wouldn't wish even for my worst enemy. well, maybe i'm overacting a little...but still, its a bad, bad, bad experience (and i am being generous in saying that).

13. i finally quitted smoking!

14. picked it up again after a while =(

15. quitted again when it affected my running =)

16. now, i only smoke on very rare and isolated instances (like when i feel shitty, depressed or think that i'd die anyways; or when i seriouly f*cked up like when i had the cooling water requirements all wrong, or when i f*cking forgot to account for the quench in the hydrogen balance around 1st stage HDS-> don't ask!)

17. so most of my friends are leaving for the US to join an american engineering firm. yes folks! i am an engineer. and contrary to popular belief we're also human who miss their friends when they're away. the event of my friends leaving got me thinking whether i'm doing the right thing by stayng where i currently am. i remember a scene from some tv show when 1 of the characters was fired for some reason i can't remember. the boss asks him "does your job make your blood rush, does it make your skin tingle? does crunching numbers excite you?" he shakes his head "no." the boss tells him, "i am making you a favor then." i know my job doesn't make my blood rush, nor does it make my skin tingle and i am noplussed with crunching numbers. then why can't i shake my head no? i was looking through the files in my computer a few days back and found the following note i made some time ago. I kept it to constantly remind me of my literary genius (ahem):
"i am so fucking bored! i am on the brink of insanity...i don't know why they insist on sending me here in the first place. everyday is becoming such a drag. can't even keep my eyes open anymore. this is such a waste of time...i would rather be doing something else...something! anyhting!
i honestly feel that i am not cut for this...i know i am good at dealing with people and i know that i'd be happier if i do something like that..."

18. chingay is so gay! that's all there is to it. but then again, who cares...

19. there's this "jazz by the beach thing" i went to with some friend. we met 3 germans (2 of which were girls) and a turkish. another fun night. drank a couple of beers, engaged ourselves in idle chit chats, and on the last f*ckin' song of the surprisingly good band, we danced. there we were...a couple of drunk expats dancing to gloria estefan's conga. a pity, i know! hey! it beats sitting on your couch and waiting for fear factor or something like that. we promised to go out again. i never heard from them since. and i don't have any intention of going out with them again. i'm a bastard, i know. but so is half of the world.

20. started to play tennis...and dropped it like its hot! =)

21. i got myself a new notebook. its no power machine but it does its job. with the free wireless networks here, surfing is really a breeze (now, doesn't that sound like an advert on tv or something?)

22. brokeback mountain...2 cowboys kissing. big f*cking deal. it's not who you love, it's how you love. nuff said.

23. queer as folk...i know this is a has-been in the US but for the conservative society i grew in (well, actually i grew up in a liberal community but let just pretend i didn't), it really is provicative. but again...guys screwing guys and girls screwing girls is no big deal! it's live and let live, if you ask me.

24. the highlight of my year, neigh, my life thus far: told a friend a very important detail about me. i'd tell y'all too when i summon enough courage to do so.

25. i'd be turning 25 this august. but it doesn't mean shit. i'd still be the same old boring me. a change is long overdue, i keep telling myself. it has to come soon or i'd blow my fucking head off!
that pretty much sums up my life the past 6 months. six f*cking months...feels like eternity. but i have to suck it up, haven't i? the next few months will surely be interesting (or at least i hope it would be)...

by the way, i missed out an important fact: on my next lifetime, i wanna be a brazilian

=)

ciao!

(p.s. geez! i forgot how liberating it is to write; knowing that someone enjoys reading your miseries and fully aware that someone is more miserable than you...i love my f*cking life)

cryola popcorn smirks @ 9:26 PM
0 = number of people who gives a shit

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