my creed
i'm broke but i'm happy....
well, not exactly broke but i'm pretty much living off crumbs from a pathetic excuse for a job. to prove a point, the bonus which i recently received has all been spent in paying the bills; house rent, utilities, what-have-you's.
hay buhay!
i'm poor but i'm kind....
i was once told that that poverty is the lack of option. well, i don't have much choice right now with most of the things going on with my life, the choices i'm left with aren't worth consideration; so yes, i'm poor... and i'm kind when needs be!
i'm short but i'm healthy....
Nuff said.
i'm high but I'm grounded....
i wouldn't justify this with a response (hehe)
I'm sane but I'm overwhelmed
Barely sane...i'm on that fine line between genius and insane.
Overwhelmed...oh well, that's what the song says.
I'm lost but I'm hopeful baby
Yeah, I'm lost and to be quite frank, I feel I have been wondering around with nowhere to go. hope is waning, oh, yes it is.
and what it all comes down to is that everything's gonna be quite alright...
I sure hope so. I most definitely hope so.
(A/N: This has been sitting on my drafts section for so long that I was having second thougths publishing it. This is one hard post because I wouldn't want to give out too much...)
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the yin and the yang of it all
i have recently been reading this book entitled "
The Tao of Physics". written by some cambridge professor of particle physic, the book aimed to explore the parallelism between eastern mysticism (zen, buddhism, taoism) and modern science (recent advances in particle physics). more specifically, it explains how one relates and in some instances even supports the other. for a modernist society such as ours, this would hardly be believable. for ages, science and religion didn't even belong to the same sentence so much more as to stand on the same ground. is it really that hard to believe that somehow everything exist in harmony as the book claims? a balance between good and evil; of light and dark; of yin and yang.
(this part of the post was deleted by cookie monster because this part is what elmo liked best. since i didn't want her to get what she likes, i decided to just delete it. i had reservations posting this part of the post to begin with. so here goes nothing. )
this is esentially the same concept behind the idea that "opposites attract". while we try to lean towards someone we have something in common with, we usually end up with the opposite. i think this is because we try to see in others what we can't find in ourselves. come to think of it, the friend (or more appropriately, ex-friend) i was earlier talking about had totally nothing in common with me. but hey! it's all in the past. with him living on his side of the planet, and i,on mine. perfect balance of poles.
the book may be right after all. everything could exist in harmony. we have just to choose them to be.
(Author's Note: the book is unavailable in philippine bookstores. try ordering from the internet. i'll try to make a review when i make significant progress with the book)
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fornication under the consent of the king
well this has most certainly been an interesting day, although the day ain't over yet, i feel that i've been to hell and back, elmo is being her grumpy self like usual, and i'm being short of a bastard, hell! you have to actually be us to at least have a shrewed idea of what elmo and i are going through our lives (not together, mind) .
i started the day with a splitting headache due to the fact that i've arrived at my house at around 1AM from a job i could barely care for. got up a good 3 hours later (i find it hard to sleep at night...probably the effect of
kusa-kusa). nonchalantly ate my breakfast and hopped in the shower. slipped on a clean pair of trousers and a gray top. great! my usual boring corporate self trying to get back to whatever f*ck i was doing for the the last few months...life can't be more exciting than this (read: end my misery, please kill me now!)
the mrt's broke...some fire in guadalupe. i wished i was still in bed (if it isn't too much to ask, with someone, anyone) and not under some strangers underarm...(boy, was the mrt packed today). i later found a friend in an equally comprimising position between the bodies of some other corporate slaves trying to get to their hellholes, or offices as they refer to them. we decided, what the heck! wait for the goddamn mrt to resume operation. nothing much happened between then and the time we got to our own hellhole, which was a good 45 minutes later.
i had the first good news of the day when i heard of a colleague resigning. she has finally broken free... a slave no more. in as much as i am happy for her taking control of her own life, i can't help but think, why can't i summon the same courage to take control of mine....lead it to where i'd be happy. certainly elmo was thinking along the same line. i know it. then it dawned me, i don;t know exactly where that road is. sure i'd like to be happy, but what would make me? truth is i don't know. hell, i don't know if i'd ever know...
later today would be our department christmas party. geez! could this day be any lousier? i plan to get wasted. maybe then, under the influence of booze could I find the answers to my question.
i gave up on this post after i realized that this day is not as interesting as i might have thought. so i'm ending it here.
by the way the title is the origin of the work fuck...or so a friend says.
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kusa-kusa
i share this blog with another modest, albeit insane person who we'd lovingly call
elmo. we intended this blog to be nothing but crap, something to pass time with and everything to be totally useless, so if you're reading it and find no sense with it, hey nobody's forcing you to read on. since this is our first post we feel oblige to tell you about this worthless piece of space.
this post is entitled "
kusa-kusa", depressed in japanese...you might ask why. that's because this seem to be the strongest emotion surging in our body for the last week or two. we've been busting gour asses to finish a project with impossible schedule, limited resources, and repressed sex life (elmo refers to this as love life, for me they're one and the same). i haven't seen any movie for the last month, haven't watched the news in 2 weks and haven't stepped in the f*cking mall for as long as i can remember. to top it all off, i haven't been sleeping much as well. we've been living off mc donald's, cafeteria food and other greasy take outs for breakfast, lunch and dinner.
elmo had her cryola popcorn moments for God knows how many times this week and for whatever reason known to her and her alone. hell i was also on the verge of a cryola popcorn moment myself, nah! i might throw a fit but never will i do a cryola popcorn moment specially in the loo in the middle of business. elmo seems to do this a lot this week. but hey! it's her life, to hell with it! if she likes to cry in the f*cking loo, let her cry in the f*cking loo (i said the F word one too many times, but i swear i'm not vulgar...who am i kidding, i am vulgar to the every sense of the word).
i'm playing alanis in my computer. another angry woman (on top of elmo, that is). i wonder how many angry people there are in the world. elmo and i make two. so who else?
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