reality/possibility
there's absolutely no running away from reality. just when you thought you've eluded it, it comes around biting your ass. it just wouldn't let go.
today i have received a news...a wonderful news, in fact that a friend is getting married. he's 24. she's 24. they've been together for so long i can't remember a time when they were not together anymore. here's the thing: i am 23 which makes me only a year younger than both of them. funny that while they're thinking of spending the rest of their lives together, i'm thinking along the line of which movie to see this weekend. or whether my computer has finished downloading the mp3 i am so dying to have a copy of. and the list goes on about the things i have to do soon. i don't even know what to include in the list. but i know for sure what not to include...three guesses say its getting married soon.
here is where reality hurts the most. while others are secured of a future together, i don't even know if i will be with someone. not that i am really dying to be attached or anything along the same line. but wouldn't it be nice to have a possibility of having to spend all of eternity (or at least however long your mortality will permit you) with your certain someone.
and right now, that's all i ask...that possibility (however minute that may be).
i am no writer
i honestly wish i could write like others do. the other postings i read seem to be genuinely happy for the littlest of things such as a new pair of jeans, a quick glance from their crush, coffee with with a friend...kiddie stuff. but i aint a kid no more. stopped being one for as long as i can remember. its probably nice to go back when fun is as simple as building sand castles and sharing lunch packed in a beautiful lunch kits. because now, fun is coupled with disdain and wary that the real world awaits...oh how the real world awaits. i sometimes wish it would leave without me so i'd be left alone to build my own. maybe then i can write about a new pair of jeans, or a quick glance from a crush, or coffee with a friend..the kiddie stuffs. but while waiting for that miracle to happen, i will continue to write the way that i do.
2/14
(A/N: This is a one-shot fic i wrote when journals are still leather-bound papers. it has been editted so anybody can read it. mushy, mushy stuff! not very interesting read.)
their story goes a long way back. they were two; yet they were one. they were young and naive. Never have they imagine that theirs is a story worth telling. nor do they have the illusion that the thing they had was grand. it simply was that.. a thing.
they were kids. oh, how sweet those days were. they were kids but they were in love. more than that they cared. theirs is not a story you read on romance novels...of endless hours holding hands and frolicking in the beach. rather, theirs is a relationship clearly defined by rules. most of which we'd find absurd if i even start to list them. but both of them are more than willing to follow. they had a clear understanding of what they had. something so hard to explain to others (and believe me no words could ever describe it) but somehow so elementary for both of them. after all, they were one. they were two, but they were one.
they both knew from the onset that what they had was special. she'd be her own person while being so many others to him...a friend, a confidante, a lover. as he is to her. he never felt so free while being so attached. others may be as in love as them but they lose themselves in the process. sadder still is the fact that they tend to lose themselves alone. no partner to guide them, no partner to lead them on. alone. that's the danger of falling in love without rules, they say. one tend to be caught in the middle of any and all things others deems important. in the end, they are left clueless as to where they're heading. they've seen this danger and they were more than happy to take the road not taken. after all, they knew that if they get lost along that way, they'd be lost together.
and as fate would have its way, they got lost. but unlike others before them, they got lost together. but not once have their love faltered. they may be separated by distance but their souls are one. she may be happy with someone else but he is happy for her. he may be alone, but she is always there when he's afraid. it's in the rules. after all, she was hers once. more importantly, she was his first. as he was hers first.
yes, they are two but they will always be one.
orange county
i so love this show...not your ordinary teeny-bopper. can't wait for the new season. the oc shows every tuesday, 9pm on etc.
Photo credits: Click here
the inncocence of a child
i distictly remember that time when i was robbed of my childhood...my innocence taken away.
i pray to all of heaven that she won't robbed of hers.
she
if there's one thing she's not known to be, then that's having very little self-restraint. well, that and having short temper, being tactless (or being brutally honest, depending on whose point of view she's taking) and being incredibly stubborn.
she is compulsive and trusting which is probably why she lets her guards down so easily (and almost always never get them up on time when needs be). sometimes the smallest of courtesy on her part is taken to be a sign of acceptance or of something more. the littlest hint of common decency is often midjudged as an invitation to invade...her privacy, her space, her life.
Abelle 9
she hates it when people feel that they can just barge into her life so easily. they give her no time to put her defences up even when all she intends to do is to leave a little of herself to herself. but she hates herself even more because she lets them meander through it like the pages of a best-seller. true, she has very little left to herself. people read it through her. she owns nothing more others haven't claimed yet for themselves. she has long stopped being hers. she is of others.
but most of all, she is mine.
and i love her. with all my heart. with all my soul. with all of me.
top ten things i must do before i die
10. plant a tree (i don't know why, but this is something i think i should do)
9. do extreme sports (bunjee jump, sky dive, sky surf; pratically all the stuffs that make others chill)
8. discover an island and name it after myself (my own twisted quest for glory)
7. go to a major sporting event (preferably the olympics; world cup or the world series should also do the trick; again, don't ask me why)
6. travel the world (twice, if possible)
5. meet the pope (and tell him what exactly, you ask? i have no idea)
4. read the bible from cover to cover (and actually stay awake to understand it)
3. have dinner (or lunch if i'm dying before dinner) with my entire family and close friends so i can tell them that i love them...and this time mean it
2. see my sibs live a more comfortable life (credits to my parents for making it as good as it is now)
1. father a son (wife may or may not be included)
